I hope you enjoy our very first post from the series “Construction Chronicles”. More to come!
Reporting For Duty
I was told to report to the Safety Trailer at 7:00AM for my first day to go through orientation and complete my new-hire paperwork. That morning I made sure to wake up extra early, hit the road, and arrive with plenty of time to spare. I woke up at 5:00AM, put on my best ‘first day’ attire, and began my 75 mile journey to the jobsite. Luckily for me this drive was pretty quick considering I was going opposite traffic into the Inland Empire.
I arrived at the site at around 6:30AM and started wandering around because nothing was labelled. I saw 5-7 trailers with only one having the name of the company on it, so I went in that direction and waited. Slowly but surely the area in front of the trailer began crowding with what I assumed at the time to be new-hires getting ready for the orientation. At 7:00AM the doors opened and “Jack” the safety manager let us all in.
I absolutely did not fit in. The average age in the trailer was 45; Everybody looked seasoned and tired of whatever bullshit life has thrown their way. They had well-worn boots on, jeans holier than the bible, and most importantly, highlighter yellow vests. Me? Well I had slacks and a polo on with a squeaky-clean freshly-shaved beaming white face. I must have looked like the biggest prick to these people.
The orientation was 3 hours long and I understood none of it. Well except maybe for the “ladders” portion of it. For 3 hours straight I had construction terminology hurled my way for me to absorb and not understand. “Make sure to be tied-off”, “You’re going to need a confined space entry permit”, “make sure you check the charts for the correct percentages before doing a pick”, “Make sure to use proper shoring or benching during excavation” and on and on Jack kept talking while I did my best to follow along with his construction jargon.
You’re Going To Watch Me Do What?
Once Jack concluded his slides, I thought I was free. All I had left was to sign a few papers, give them my direct deposit, and head to work right? Nope. Drug test time. No biggie since I don’t do anything that would make me fail a urine test. Well guess what? My urine test came back as “inconclusive or faulty”. Jack the safety guy was not happy at all. “Since you’re one of our own we can try this test one more time, if it doesn’t work then I’m going to send you home and blacklist you.” I nervously drank at least 5 cups of water for the next 45 minutes until I finally felt ready to take the urine test again.
I stood up and went to the bathroom to do my duty until the drug test administrator said, “Oh hey don’t close the door behind you.” I asked why and he said, “Well since you failed your first one I have to watch you do the second one.” I’m sorry one more time? What did he mean “watch me”? He really did mean that he will physically be present while I’m trying to urinate in a cup. For the next ten minutes, I’m standing there with a cup in one hand and my “member” in the other using my best effort to produce enough of a sample to please the drug technician. I pass with flying colors.
Jack takes me to Tori from Human Resources to fill out my remaining paperwork. After finishing up, Tori walks me over to meet my new boss.
I think this Construction Chronicles post is long enough for now. If you haven’t already read the previous post, “Catch Up Series (Part One) – Where Does The Journey Begin?“, I highly encourage you to give it a quick read! Until the next Construction Chronicle post, stay safe out there.
Yours,
-E J
One Comment
Garo
Lovely read!